passing thru the ether in a van

chipped nail polish lavender silver bits in my hair along with bits of moss and unidentified mixtures of gunk from under my nails

a greenish hue around my thumb from the 75cent fake copper ring i bought from the african retail traders

a beaded blue anklet cutting into my flesh a slight mold

black fuzzy balls hanging from angel’s red coat

pretty babies in the desert no longer

driving upward uncertain of the playout of the next few months

without a home without a certain bond

money nearly gone i wonder how broke will taste to a moth who’s always just been able to float by

not sure how i feel not sure how he feels but when he feels it i feel it and we feel

it so it’s ok for the day til the night when loss of sight seems to take it’s toll on the brainwaves

tapering downwards

not certain of the way i am headed

but i cant say i’m full of dread either just passing through the ether

 

inked; black

dad once said if i ever got a tattoo he would leave the country

why should i explain the allure of permanence

in a 

blink and it’s gone world

xxx

what i see in a pool of black:

immersion 

the void, complete and endless

unashamed

to be with me 

to be seen caressing vulnerable parts of me

holding me closer than reds oranges and blues do

representing nothing

wanting for nothing

the end all be all of color

of dis-ease

of deep sea secrets

of the spaces in between

xxx

my skin is black

to most

but i know

few are blessed with that hue that so directly speaks of the night

that which deceives

if everything i ever wanted or needed could be condensed into a single pill

would i take it?

can you find love in

lithium bicarbonate?

(like a jackhammer to my brain)

i cultivate love with my breath

which does not deceive